On Being Released

I was recently released from my stake callings, first councilor in the stake young men's presidency and member of the stake high council. It was time consuming, and it required a lot of travel and speaking assignments, but I loved that two-fold calling. I absolutely loved getting out into the other wards in the stake at least once a month, speaking and meeting some wonderful, faithful people. What a blessing it was to serve in the position. Growing up, and even into my 20s, members of the stake high council always appeared so esteemed, polished, serious, and knowledgeable of the gospel. They always brought the love of the stake presidency, and they always droned on forever. I cannot stress how different the perspective is from the other side. I almost always felt like I had no clue what I was doing. I often felt overwhelmed, especially when members from the wards I visited asked me serious stake-level questions and I had no answer. For many things, especially stake youth matters, the buck stopped in my vicinity. Oh, the feelings of inadequacy. I cannot lie, though, I absolutely loved the speaking assignments. I have been blessed with a gift, and I love to use it. Speaking in front of people has always come natural to me, hence my profession, and so I will especially miss that opportunity. For one, I spoke often, but also because I loved the people it helped me meet.

Also, it was amazing the see just how much the stake presidency does love and care for every single member of the stake. It amazed me how many people they could speak about by name. Certainly, some of that was the result of high council members' reports, but their memories, magnified by the spirit, no doubt, are amazing. I loved working "behind the scenes," watching how the church works at the stake level. I loved the men with whom I served. Every member of the high council is an amazing man, and every member of the stake presidency is equally so, and President Ralls is also a rockin' racquetballer. He schools me on a regular basis. While I was overwhelmed, especially with a family that has extra needs these days, with Leah Marie's hyperemesis keeping her out of action, I found the idea of being released a difficult one to accept. President Ralls assured me, however, that my family needs me far more right now, and that is where all my energies need to be focused. Of course, he's right, and that's what makes it easier. In fact, the ability I now have to focus solely on my family's needs when I am not at work is far more rewarding right now. I wouldn't trade the freedom to do that for anything. So I find myself calling-less for the first time in a while, wondering whether the ward will find something for me to do and wondering whether the stake will come calling again after Thing 3 arrives.